Dream a Little Dream. . .

Of Brakes and Word Walls?!?

Hello Good People.

So yesterday, we talked about sleep. Today’s topic? Dreams.

Specifically, my dreams. And why they’re annoying.

True Story: I was in the woods at a world music camp. It was the middle of the night, and pitch black. I was sound asleep, in my tent-cabin, having a nightmare. Then, a guy walked by with a flashlight. Next thing I knew, somebody was waking me up because apparently, I screamed. Not just any scream, but one of those Grade B horror movie screams.

Really, you can’t take me anywhere.

Anyway. Point is. My dreams aren’t fun. Which is why the Cheese Man episode of Buffy was absolutely traumatizing for me. I can’t even watch this YouTube clip:

Here are a few examples. I’ll keep it light though.

Recurring Nightmares

1. I’m driving on a major, multi-lane street in the neighborhood where I grew up. It’s dark. I’m going really fast. The light turns red.

I step on the brake, but the car won’t stop.

I really, really, want to stop the car. I promise, I do. I just can’t.

Then the police are chasing me, and I try to telepathically ask them for help and let them know I’m not doing this on purpose. The car keeps flying through red lights.

Then, I wake up.

Raise your hand if you think I’m a control freak.

Raise your hand if you think this dream is really bizarre since I haven’t owned a car since I moved to New York.

2. I find out I have to go back to school (depending on the night, the type and level of school changes) because I’ve forgotten to take a class and haven’t really graduated. I register for the classes I need, but then it’s the end of the semester and I’ve forgotten to show up for one of the classes. All semester long. I have to cram for the final.

Then, I wake up.

It’s all very Billy Madison / Community. (I’ve never seen Community actually. The premise scares me to pieces. And Billy Madison I’ve only seen clips of. My college roommates had it on constantly.)

Work Related Dreams

1. It was a week or two ago. During summer “vacation.” (July has not been a vacation so far, hence the quotes.)

I had a dream that I was teaching first grade again. There were ten days of school left. Somebody pointed out that I had neglected to teach my students any of the 100 sight words. Oops. I’d forgotten, all year, to put up a word wall. I’d forgotten to teach them much of anything.

So, I decided to teach the kids ten words a day for the last ten days of school and hope for the best.

And the guilt was overwhelming.

This dream was so real I woke up believing it was true.

Awful confession. I had to go to iPhoto and dig though photos of my classroom to calm myself down.

Oh thank goodness. Sight words. And turkeys. Guess I taught those kids something after all.

Keep in mind that this was July. I don’t even teach first grade anymore. OMGWTFBBQ. Can’t I just be left alone?

2. I’m on a field trip. I lose a kid.

3. I forget to show up at graduation.

4. I work in my sleep. I basically live through a work day. Then I have to get up and go to work. Good times.

Creepy Dreams

1. When I was a kid, I had this dream that the woman picking me up from school wasn’t actually my mother. It was was an evil person with a mask.

2. Something happens to Creature.

You really don’t need to hear the rest.

Hopefully, I’m not as messed up and insecure as these dreams make me sound. Huh.

So, People. How do you feel about dreams?

Here. I’ll leave you with a little something to shake off any dream related creepiness I’ve caused you:

Here’s to sweet dreams!